Tuesday, July 30, 2013

5 Reasons why I paint my toes ...


It is easier to walk around in flip flops while the polish dries than to keep my hands still.

Toenails grow slower than fingernails so the paint job lasts longer.

It is easy to cover toes with shoes if the color doesn’t match your outfit.

Summer.

Running – because nobody knows if your nails are black when they have a coat of paint on them.

Oh, look!  The polish matches the blood from a long run!

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Juicing: I think it isn't about health!


I love veggies, too!
I don’t mean to offend my Vegan or health conscious friends, but I have come to the conclusion that people who juice are simply lazy.  Now before you get all puffed up about the benefits of juicing, hear me out.

Juicing is for people who want to avoid the labor required to prepare a meal.  They prefer to grab handfuls of fruits and vegetables, throw them in a Vitamix, Ninja, Whatever, and voila’ dinner is served!

Juicing is for people who are too lazy to chew their food.  It’s much easier to drink your veggies than to stab them with a fork, lift them into your mouth, and masticate them until they are ready to swallow.

Laziest of all is the avoidance of digestion.  This action happens with such little effort we hardly notice. However, juicing allows one to pour her food in one end and let it slide right on through! Can you think of anything lazier than that?

Juicers of the world, I rest my case!