Power? No Power?

Why is it that we never know how much we love something until it goes away? Like electricity, for instance? I am confident that I am prepared. I can handle a little inconvenience when necessary. What I don’t handle very well is unnecessary inconvenience.

A storm occurred. It knocked out power to 8500 homes in the area. It did not knock out power in my home, at least, not completely. Some lights worked. Some outlets worked. The refrigerator and water heaters worked sporadically. Some lights dimmed. None of the major appliances had enough power to run. Some power, just not enough. The furnace certainly did not work!

How can this be? Well, I assumed the problem was in the wiring in my home, so I called my electrician. He checked the work from his previous visit and quickly diagnosed the problem. One of the connections on the outside of my home was burnt through – a casualty of years of weather abuse. This explained the partial power. Some power was getting to my home, just not enough. It was a simple problem, easily repaired. It would take a matter of minutes.

Enter the unnecessary inconvenience. My electrician was able to repair the problem. He just wasn’t allowed to repair it. Huh? That’s right, because the problem was outside the house the problem was on the power company’s side. This meant the power company would have to repair the wires. Did I mention there had been a storm that knocked out power lines? I don’t think I mentioned that I was way down the list, or that my son was home with the flu. How about the fact that I have lived in my home for twenty years and the same power company responsible for maintaining outside lines has never attempted maintenance on said lines?

My electrician could have corrected the problem in a matter of minutes, but the power company would have none of that! Rather, I waited hours! When, after a second phone call requesting repair the service man showed up it took him exactly fifteen minutes to restore full power to my home.

What did I do first? I turned on the dishwasher, washing machine and dryer, furnace, and stovetop. I reset four digital clocks - again. And then I listened. I listened to the sound of my house running. What a beautiful noise – a house doing what it was built to do! I love the convenience of electricity!

Did She Say That, Or Did I?

I called my voice mail the other day and my sister answered! It scared me. I thought perhaps she had moved into my home. As I began to explain that I wasn’t calling her, I was calling my voice mail, she claimed that she were me and would I please leave a message. I made a smart remark and hung up the phone!

You see, there are six of us. An eighteen year span separates youngest from oldest, yet we all have the same voice. I’ve learned to use my mother’s tactic when receiving a phone call from one of them. Just listen and comment “Ahh” or “I see” until I am confident which sister is on the line. Sometimes I attempt to steer the conversation in a direction that will cause her to identify herself, such as, “Are your kids coming for the holidays?” This is only effective for those sisters with grown children living away from home, which is almost all of us. “How’s the weather?” works for those in Eastern Idaho as it is always colder and windier than Southwest Idaho. It narrows the field by two if the answer is “fine” and three if the answer is “cold and miserable.”

One sister had occasion to contact a teacher friend of mine for a reference on a prospective employee. “Bet ya can’t guess who he said I sounded like,” she challenged. Duh! The teacher, a wannabe rock star, suggested us sisters form a singing group. Bad idea. None of us can carry a tune. There are those that believe they can, however, they sound exactly like the rest of us!

An English instructor once suggested a technique for preparing a speech. Taping the practiced speech would allow a better handle on inflection and timing. So I tried. Another bad idea. When I played it back, I was certain someone had erased my voice and replaced it with her own in an attempt to confuse me and sabotage my English grade!

My parents had so many daughters that I thought they ran out of ideas when naming us. Maybe it was foresight. Wise they were to have given some of us similar names. I always thought their confusion was a slip of the tongue – Kaye, Carol, Claire, Barbara, Bonnie. Maybe their confusion was really due to a slip of the ear.

It’s hereditary. I had a phone visit with my younger sister for several minutes the other day. Then she revealed her true identity. She was not the mother. She was the daughter. It’s passing from generation to generation and I’m beginning to feel like my mother!

The similarities of voice have been convenient for denial purposes. I can claim “I never said that!” The listener isn’t certain I did. For if they heard me, they very well may have heard my sister!

Basements

My Mother had a basement,
My Grandma had one, too.
But I don’t have a basement,
I’ll leave them all to you.

My Mother’s basement flooded,
Grandma’s smelled bad, too.
If I had a basement,
Here’s what I would do.

Paint the walls bright yellow,
Install fluorescents, too.
Then burn lots of candles,
Cinnamon and Honeydew.

Smoke bomb all the spiders,
Catface, Black Widow, too.
Move all my things upstairs,
And rent it out to you!

My Mother had a basement,
My Grandma had one, too.
I’m glad you have a basement,
I’m sure it’s fine for you!

Alliteration

An artistic arrangement of adverbs, adjectives, and afterthoughts appropriately advancing acceptance of acrobatic alphabet activity. Alright?

I Win!

Scott threw down the gauntlet
And he tried to start a war.
We kicked up our miles
Since he could ride so far.

He was way ahead of us
And we thought we were beat.
Kevin logging his on wheels
And I on my two feet.

But Scotty got discouraged
Cuz his bones and muscles ached.
We just kept on going
Cuz pain’s a part of age!

I began to write a bit,
I even started blogging.
Scott just had to copy me
Recording miles he’s logging!

But one thing I have over Scott
He’ll never catch me here!
I have way more birthdays
Cuz I’m his Auntie Dear!

For Judy

My sister has a fishin’ hole
And it’s just right for her.
She built it there in her backyard
Where she can dig some worms.

It’s really kinda fancy
‘Cuz it’s full of planter fish.
Just hook a worm and cast yer line
You’ll catch one, ‘less ya miss.

A drain pipe’s in the middle
So the pond is always fresh.
It strains out all the noxious weeds
Through a cover made of mesh.

Sometimes they move the cover
And I’m not sure just why.
For when they must replace it
It’s tough to remain dry!

Some rebar and some wadin’ boots
Are both tools that’s required.
I said, “What were ya thinkin’?
For this job I’d have hired!”

I grabbed her belt, she leaned over
Drain cover on a hook,
Stretchin’ far as she could reach.
A fine sight we did look!

Now we’re not young
And we’re not spry
But hold her I did try!
Although she did replace it
She is no longer dry!

I Call Myself A Writer

I call myself a writer
And I think it’s kinda neat,
That I do my work at home
In blue jeans and stockin’ feet.

I tried to write a novel
But somehow it wuz all wrong.
So I put the words to music
And I claimed I writ a song.

I couldn’t get it published
‘less I handed them some bucks.
So I mortgaged off the homestead
And I even sold my truck.

Now my novel’s in the dumpster
And I ain’t got any wheels.
My song sounds like a train wreck
And I’m panhandlin’ for meals!