Thursday, November 5, 2009

No Wonder!

I’m not a beer drinker. Never have been. Never plan to be. I am, however, trained in the art of intervention. In other words I spent three ours last evening learning how to (a) determine if someone should be “cut off” because they are becoming intoxicated, (b) detect suspicious behavior in the form of alcohol purchases for minors, (c) identify counterfeit identification, and (d) how to effectively address the preceding issues. I did this in the name of volunteerism. My son’s high school choir fundraises by selling concessions at the local hockey arena.

I’m okay with all of this – really, but the "allocation of funds” (fancy school finance term) is a bit confusing. The training is to protect the vendor, the facility, and the volunteer from lawsuit. Hey, wait a minute! I’m a volunteer! I’m not even making any money! I am, however, busy ripping off customers at $7.50 per beer. SEVEN DOLLARS AND FIFTY CENTS! Two beers is half a pair of jeans. Two beers can buy school lunch for a week. Two beers can put five gallons of gas in my car! No wonder I don’t drink beer!

I'm thinking the training was actually for the customer. It taught me how to (a) cut him off, thus saving him pocketfuls of cash, (b) save him money by preventing him from giving away more beer, and (c) prevent youngsters from spending money on beer in the first place. Like I said - no wonder I don't drink beer!

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